I remember when I found out I was pregnant with Peter. I was finishing up my last year in college and enjoying being a newlywed. Andrew was out of town for the weekend and I was super nervous about staying at our condo by myself. I made myself macaroni, put on hulu and enjoyed a glass of wine. Before going to bed I decided to take a test just for fun. I figured it would probably be too early to tell but something was really pulling me to take a test.
I couldn't believe it. I cried. I laughed. I took pictures of the test, afraid that somehow in the morning when I woke up it would all be dream....Though I had seen my mom pregnant seven times before, it was so different experiencing it myself. The mind blowing thought that a little person was growing inside of me just rocked my world. Andrew and I did the pictures with a cute little chalk board announcement and the hands making a heart over my belly. We were on a fluffy cloud 9. Then a little while later, we were holding our little baby Peter. I will never forget bringing him home. My heart was so full of joy.
Fast forward to now. My heart is still filled with joy! But... My kitchen is dirty, I'm behind on laundry (yet I find time to blog), I'm constantly crunching cheerios when I walk across the floor and oh yeah we have another baby haha. Life is crazy but it is good. Everyday brings struggles, but with the struggles come the giggles and the smiles. This my friends, is the pregnancy after party.
The after party is fun but you're pretty tired from the previous festivities. It's hazy and you just want to sleep but at the same time you're afraid to miss something special. You get caffeine in your system in hopes to push through the fatigue. You want to just go home but your friends encourage you to stay but they're actually dying to crawl into bed too. People are crying and screaming and you have no idea why. Everyone seems to have a case of the munchies and it's all you can do to not stuff their faces (and yours) with Taco Bell. However, in the end you're glad that you went. Glad that you came away with the memories. Before you know it... You'll be ready to do it all over again.
Motherhood is messy. It comes in all shapes and sizes too. Working moms, stay at home moms, work from home moms, part time working moms etc. You get the idea. But either way...it gets hard. I know I say this a lot but it's true... it's ok to struggle. It's ok if your house looks like it was hit by a tornado or if the dirty laundry pile resembles Mt. Everest. Even if the sticky floors of college days long past come back to haunt your kitchen, it's ok. Take a deep breath. Tackle one thing at a time and remember that you can do anything and everything. From the small things to the big things. You can do it. It gets tough, but you are strong.
You are enough.
Now enjoy that after party.